• Amy O'Brien-Gulka

Lifestyles of the Unwashed and Overwhelmed

I used to love watching shows about celebrities and how each one lived their lives. I always wanted to catch that small piece of them that related in someway to my life.

Like a..."No way! I totally make my tea that way too!"

Or a...."You've read that book too? Samsies!"

I would have even settled for a...."I can't believe you keep Pepsi in your fridge. We are practically twins."

As I grew up my taste in celebrities change from watching MTV Cribs to following my favourite authors on Instagram and TikTok. And instead of wanting desperately trying to compare the contents of my refrigerator, I compared books that we read, admired work habits they may have and of course stare in awe and wonder at their magnificent bookshelves.

Since I find stuff like that interesting, I figured that there had to be someone amongst the 8 billion people on this spherically dirt pile that may be similar and interested in what my life might be like. This post is for that person. So come along my dear guest and I shall take you on a journey!

I am going to preface this by saying that my days have changed DRAMATICALLY since the beginning of the apocalypse. I used to wake up at 5:30 every day, put on actual pants and make-up, the whole shebang and trudge my ass to work at a 9-5. But now, I am....well, you'll see.

4am: My 5 year old jumps into are bed, demands water and extra blankets and then falls asleep. I gently balance on the edge of the bed, somewhere between awake and asleep until 7am when my husband lovingly sets a steaming cup of black coffee on the table next to my dishevelled snoring body.

7am: My kid has already been awake in bed for about an hour watching Youtube and relentlessly bouncing from one end of the bed to another. I sip my coffee and dive right back into the book I no doubt stayed up until midnight reading as I occasionally look over to the TV and make sure my kid isn't watching anything inappropriate.

8am: Shower time. This is a crucial step in my day. If I do not shower it's as though my body knows to feel sluggish and unmotivated for the rest of the day.

8:30: School time. We opted to keep my son home this year. I was going to be home anyway, so why not spend some extra time with the little guy? They grow up super fast, right? Well let me tell you, I got over that within the first 9 days of quarantine. I love the little dude more than life itself, do not get me wrong, but oh man, he is dirt and sugar covered in a human meat sack. So I basically just spend the whole half hour of virtual learning telling him to sit still in front of his computer 6 or 700 times.

9am: Okay, we survived class, usually. Now it is time for breakfast! I LOVE breakfast! You can't even comprehend my love of breakfast, it is so deep. More than likely, one of the only reasons I love being at home so much is that I can literally make anything I want for breakfast every day! Some days, we go the traditional route and have bacon and eggs. Some days we are feeling fancy and I will make a homemade breakfast sandwich or pancakes. Some days I make spicy ramen noodles or Mac and Cheese. It is not the breakfast food I love but the ability to break the fast because FOOD!

9:30-3:30: This time is taken up by my son. We do some more school stuff, we play video games, sometimes I can actually convince him to go outside. But it is his Mommy and little dude time while Daddy works from home in his office (aka the basement. aka the gym. aka home theatre).

3:30: I'M FREE!!! Hubby is done work and I take a nap. No seriously. I take a 20 minute power nap to reboot the system. This is a recent practice but I am loving it. It actually feels like a reboot. So instead of sluggishly struggling to be productive in the evening, I am motivated and energetic. However, be warned...NEVER SLEEP LONGER THAN 20 MINUTES! Trust me on this.

4pm: When I begrudgingly wake up, it is time to cook dinner. Most of the time I actually make some pretty elaborate dinners. I LOVE to cook! Thankfully my husband and kid are willing participants in all of my culinary experiments. But this is why I start cooking at 4. I will absolutely be posting some food stuff in the future because I personally love super quick meal ideas.

5pm: Yes, we do eat this early.

5:30: Time to pump some iron! I am also a gym enthusiast, certified weight loss coach and almost certified personal trainer. So it is important that I eat my Wheaties (I don't actually eat Wheaties) and get my booty moving every day. My Christmas present to myself was to set up a bitchin home gym. I have barbells and dumbbells and kettlebells. Resistance bands and steppers and massive power cage taking over half of my basement all so I can spend 2021 getting jacked! So for about an hour every night I put myself to work. I cannot say this enough, take care of your body. As writer's we spend a lot of time sitting, stressing over deadlines and getting so wrapped up in our work that we forget to eat. So please, set timers, meal prep and try to get up and move at least every 30 minutes. You will live longer....probably.

6:30: TikTok time. I am not even joking. After I workout I like to come down a bit and just zone out for a half hour. Sometimes I read but most of the time I am on TikTok.

7pm: Fine, it's time to get to work I guess. This is when my work day begins. When I am not working on a project, I give myself a word goal. This ensures my habit of writing everyday stays consistent. However, if I have a book going (which I do right now) I will spend 20 minutes writing and 10 minutes doing whatever the heck I want. This productivity method has a name, I just can't remember what it is at the moment and I am far too lazy to Google it. Anyway, I alternate 20 minutes on and 10 minutes off about three or four times. Also, during this time I usually pause (am interrupted) to say goodnight to my little man. I tend to write sitting up in bed and he loves to come in no less than 27 times to jump on the bed demanding hugs and kissies. Take the time to snuggle your babies.

9pm: Time for snacks! Do not believe those who tell you that late night snacking is bad for you. Yes, depending on what you eat, you may have a bad sleep. For example, I just had a pile of cheese which I will surely regret in a few hours. But late night snacking is not a bad thing. So YAY snacks.

9:30: This is my social media time. I set up posts, work on my blog, edit a few photos. I honestly wish I TikToked. It looks hella fun! But alas, I have not really made my TikTok debut.

10:30: That's right now! As I right this I am watching the clock change over to 10:30. So now, I read. I immerse myself into a different reality filled with magic, or romance, or thrills and chills or crazy hot sex. If I am being honest, it's mostly crazy hot sex. What? I likes what I likes. And I read this until my eyelids fight me to close.

This is my day! Well let me be clear, this is a typical weekday. My weekends are usually filled with more family and movies. I also like to squeeze in more writing on weekends because hubby likes to spend a little extra time with the little guy.

At this pace, writing can be pretty slow going, but if you are consistent and have your end goal in mind, you will reach that finish line.

So, is there anything in here that you can relate to?

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